Broken

Last night when I got home I beat my fists in intense frustration upon the steering wheel of my car. This was immediately followed by wheeping...

I'm so broken right now over this mountain that will not move. My heart aches daily for the woman God has promised would walk with me as a partner. My "mountain" in essence is having faith and patience to wait for that time. There is a purpose that is beyond my understanding for why God has placed me where he has. I'm in the perfect place for God to form Christ in this part of my life. Dealing with pockets of the old Adam that doesn't seem to want to leave.

Last night was not a golden momment in my life. I spent an amazing meeting warring against the same old bitterness and frustration that trys to rise against my friends and God pertaining to my singleness. I left that meeting frustrated and angry about my struggle, while others talked about how awesome and intesne the presence of God was.

This is why I pounded my fist and wept last night... I want this fight to be over. I want God to be glorified in this area of my life. Yet again last night I struggled with a fight that has lasted for several years now.

God sang this over me...

I... I have heard your cries
don't sleep in fear tonight.
I am with you.

I... will come and heal your land
help you understand
I love you.

As I wept and prayed yesterday my spirit was stirred with the verse "They that sow in tears shall reap in joy" Psalms 126:5