Something I've noticed is that desire for a partner drives me to one of three places. As a side note I don't think this is just a guy thing but can hopefuly be applicable to women to.
One place that I almost always fall into is this place of self examination."Ok, what is wrong with me." I'll start nit picking at how I look and act. Which is really stupid, cause really is nothing wrong with me. When I begin doing the check list of all my flaws it's pretty easy for me to begin to worry about how women think about me. Instead of being myself I begin to be who I think they would want. Which creates a fake me that people can see through in a heart beat.
If you strip this issue down to the chassie you see that it's simply just a problem of unbelief. God says that I'm fearfuly and wonderfuly made. Also I mean I'm made for only one woman... so who cares if some women think I'm not attractive. I was designed by God to be married to one woman and to give myself to one woman. If I truly believed this 24/7 and walked with this revelation I wouldn't worry about "what is she thinking" or have to over examin things. If I just simply be who God's made me to be then the one he's made me for will find me attractive. I garuntee that if you have faith in this you will walk with a sense of security that women look for in a man and men look for in a woman. Of course the essential perspective is not to try to be attractive to draw someone in, but to have the posture of faith as you let God bring you the person in his timing.
Another place I've notice is that this can drive you to is desparation. I don't know about you but this is the biggest off switch for me. If I see a girl trying to "sell" herself to me I imediately want to run away. This ins't just in words but in how she acts. It's really fake and unattractive and is easily seen through.
Something that is really hard to swallow sometimes, especially when you "dig" someone, is that you cant create something that isn't there. Song of Songs says "Don't awaken love before it's time." This is entirely true. Us men cannot go about trying to stir up and manipulate a womans heart to like us when it's just not there. If you really want to be with the one God's called you to be with, you need to sit back take the closed door as a blessing and have faith that God will awaken love in the heart that is meant for you. If you try to force it you can either a) end up in a relationship that is yuky or b) push the girl even farther away. You need to have patience when love isn't there when you desire it to be and pray.
Something that God has really be driving home to me is that this desire for a partner drive you to a place of prayer for the one instead of chasing after every girl or guy that walks in front of you. When I look around at my friends who have such a rich heritage in the faith, and how blessed their lives are by a solid foundation of prayer laid out by their parents and grandparents. Seeing such a wonderful example of the power of prayer drives me so much to pray for her and our partnership in the Lord. In essence when I do this I'm partnering with the Lord in preparing the way for that relationship. That all those possible places would be made smooth, and all those possible crooked places would be made straight. That every mountain that would try to arise be laid low and every valley be raised up. Through submitting to the Lord in patience and prayer in this time of loneliness I'm doing just that. Right now though my emotions are so frustrated by this, my spirit is rejoicing cause I'm establishing such a solid foundation of Christ and rich blessing of God's kingdom in that marriage before it ever happens.
So take faith all who are in similar shoes as me. Who desire a partner and have no open door in this season. Take faith and submit to what the Lord is doing in the now to prepare you for that. Through this you are blessing your partner more than you can comprehend.
Finally this whole thing needs to be taken from it being centred on self and shifted to centred on Christ. This relationship is about taking care of your loneliness but God's kingdom being advanced.
Date Levi
13 years ago
