Smelling Roses in the Dessert.

Sure, I feel desolate. As if the land I'm in is barren and lack the fruit to satisfy my needs and hungers. Sure there is alot of things that I don't have and things I'm waiting for.

But... today I have beautiful flowers given to me in this desert time. I don't want to forsake the flowers he's given me in waite for the promise land. Sometimes I get so caught up in the dry and desolate places that I don't enjoy the beauty before me now. It's such an important thing to thank the Lord for the small things. It might be small to you but it's important to him. He wants to show his love in every way and form. That we'd begin to see the full dimensions of his love towards us.

Lord help me to smell the roses in this dessert time. Lord I want to be thankful in all things praising you for everything you give to him. Each day is a gift from you with purpose and plans to prosper us and make us fruitfull. Lord if I am to cry tonight let it be tears of joy instead of tears of pain. For you are worth more to me than that...

Eternally Blessed

Today is just another day. Wether I have money, wether I don't... wether I do something extraordinary or wether I relax... it doesn't matter. It's all the same in Christ. Always loved... always blessed... never changing.

I am righteous today wether I make a mistake or wether I stand strong. I am blessed wether I lose something dear to me or I gain something beautiful. I am strong wether I struggle with feelings or rejoice in all circumstances.

I am convinced this morning that nothing can separate me from the love of Christ. Nothing can change who I in him. NOTHING! Wether be in my death or in my life may he be continuously glorified. Cause for me... I am blessed no matter which road he takes me down.

I am also convinced this morning that in Christ I am not affected by this world. Sure feelings can rage but Christ is always the same. Always faithful, and always strong. I will place my trust in him and find my security for eternity in him. For he is an unmoveable fortress. Nothing can overtake his will. I'm going to submit ot that and enjoy him. His will is beautiful and awesome! His kingdom is filled with righteousness peace and joy! All that which I long for and desire is found in him! I will be with him for eternity in Christ. Eternaly secure and blessed in a love that is so beyond my understanding!

This morning I feel so separate from this world. Aware that I am not of this world anymore. May today be filled with you and may I radiate your beauty today, Lord. That others may see you and find you...

There is a lot of things where you have a longing and desire before his provision for you. Why is that? Why does God allow me to suffer in need for any long periods of time? Is God not good to his people? Does he not do things to build and prosper us?

God gives good gifts to his children. He never gives bad gifts to his children. It is a gift to suffer need before the Lord. He allows us to suffer need to drive us to pray and prepare our hearts to recieve the provision.

For me I have a need that alway seems to weigh on me. Something that I have to always lay at the Lords feet in patience for his will. Learning to lose myself in full awareness that I'll find myself in Christ. Some might concider me weak cause I'm always struggling with this. It never seems to lift. There are times where I get on top of it with complete faith and joy in waiting... other times its kicking my keester and my emotions are all over the place. They never rule me but they do get out of control.

Not to be a downer but suffering need is a fight. It's a daily battle of laying it down and dieing to your desires for a season so that God can redeem and resurrect it in it's propert time. He made us with desires and needs that are healthy, but we need to position those needs in Christ. Who we are needs to die off in these areas so that Christ can live through us.

God is constantly wanting to show how good and awesome he is, but we have to be willing to step out of the way and let his will be supreme in our lives.

I encourage you who have a need to not seek out to satisfy the need, but instead wait upon the Lord and suffer it as a momentary affliction for the sake of Christ. For these momentary afflictions are nothing compared to the glory to be revealed in you when God finally steps in and brings provision. He's not slow as we think, but is quick to do his work within us.

So take heart and praise God for what he is doing. It is no small thing to wait upon the Lord...

God of my strength.

Her I am,
stained with dirt and pride.
Yet you still love me,
and hold me tonight.

Lord you know me,
you see my every fault.
Yet you chose me,
and you clothed me in righteousness.

God of my strength
God of my need
You are stronger in my weakness.
I will trust
I will rest
For you are stronger in my weakness.

I am filled,
with mistakes and regrets.
Yet you see beauty,
say I'm lovely in your eyes.

I am so anxious,
So impatient with you.
Yet you quiet me,
and bring peace to my heart.

God of my strength
God of my need
You are stronger in my weakness.
I will trust
I will rest
For you are stronger in my weakness.

My Portion

I just want to say thank you Lord for this blessing to be poor. Thank you for the honor of being weak and needy. Thank you so much for being my portion.

Today Lord I'm fully aware that my life is not for this world but for you. This world is so empty without you Lord. My life is so empty without you. You've given me so much in Christ. Lord would you help me to know what you have given me. Open my eyes and free my mind so that I may look upon you.

Lord I feel so empty... help me to know you. That I may know my portion and praise you for giving Christ. Lord would you take everything away that I would not be distracted by worthless things. Lord break me more... put the plow to any hard soil within me. As much as it may hurt it does not compare to the pain I feel from living apart from you. Lord would you uproot anything that is not good for me. I don't care how attached I am to it... Lord would you please remove it cause I know that though it hurts it doesn't compare to you.

Lord you are my portion forever. Purify my wants and my desires. Let them be completely on you. Lord let me never with one arm hold you and with the other cling to things of this earth. You deserve so much more... you are worth more to me than that. Lord let me never settle for less than you. Would you create in me a clean heart. In your jealousy would you aggresively persue my heart. Let nothing be left alone. Let no stone be unturned until your work is complete in me. I don't care how tired I get, you are so worth the effort. Though this tent be torn my home is with you in heaven.

Lord you are my portion forever! You are so beautiful... my eyes have yet to have laid upon you and yet I am so in awe of you. My heart can barely waite to see your face. Oh Lord be gracious to your servant and let the light of your countenance shine upon me. I can't live without you... I can't see me without you.

Lord you are my portion forever! I will waite on you and you alone. Christ you are worth the wait. YOU are worth the wait, would you keep my expectation in you. That in all things that I'd desire you above all else. In my job, marriage, children, parents, friends... whatever there is in my life may it be filled with you. For without you they are empty and mean nothing.

Lord you are my portion forever. I want to know you. Grant your child this one thing, that I would know you.

Today I'm surrendering my life to the Lord. Everyday is a choice to surrender... some days things are going well and are pleasing to the eye. In those days it is easy to surrender to God knowing he is good. I'm in days where things aren't pleasing to the eye. Surrendering to God has brought me to where I am and my flesh likes to question/build an arguement against the Lord.

Right now I have a financial obstacle that I cannot overcome. I'm virtually trapped at my house for most of the day due to lack of a car and I don't have a legitimate job. Instead of complaining about this or worring about what I have to do, I'm going to submit to him as my provider.

Being in my worst poverty ever I've come to understand how he is my provision and my portion forever. Though I have physical needs that have yet to be met, I can live like a king in his Kingdom. His kingdom is not of this world. It has nothing to do with having a working car or having enough money to buy nice things. It's all about him... he is the center piece. I can enjoy riches fit for kings yet I am poor and suffer need. No matter where I am at I can always enjoy him.

I know that my poverty is not a lack of God's care, but an instrument by which God thrusts me further into him. So I will take these places where I lack and, in prayer, I'll submit to the Lord's work within me. Christ spoke of a cost to being his disciple. If we want to truly find our llifes we must first lose it for his sake.

So tonight I submit and surrender to the Lord's goodness knowing that he is good to those who trust in him.

Eternally Yours

You formed the mountains with your eternal Word.
With that Word you bring peace and life to me.
Your right hand holds me as your spirit forms soul.
You are eternal and I am eternally yours...

You are the light that I follow.
You are the grace that I lean on.
You are the love that fills me.
You are eternal and I am eternally yours.

You are the shelter for the weak and weary.
A fortress for the poor and the helpless.
Grace for our weakness you are strong.
You are eternal and I am eternally yours.

You are the fortress I hide in.
You are the rock I stand upon.
You are the delieverer who saves me.
You are eternal and I am eternally yours.

You take me to the banqueting table.
Your banner over me speaks of love.
Take me to your chamber and romance me.
You are enternal and I am eternally yours.

You are the apple of my eye.
You are the beloved I embrace.
You are the lover I long for.
You are eternal and I am eternally yours.